Hi,
This year Memorial day ceremony hits differently. There is a specific age, somewhere between losing baby teeth and demanding a smartphone, where the memorial day ceremony stops being about standing still for the siren and starts being about the weight of the silence.
We used to take our elder kids to memorial day ceremony in their school courtyard, wearing white shirts and put the memorial day sticker on it. We explained them that they should stand still in the one minute siren to respect the fallen (this was it was hard then ever, as we all had the urgent feeling to run to the nearest shelter).
But this year it felt different. They are already old enough to understand the meaning of the words that are spoken out loud in the ceremony.
It was Jannaues who was shocked to hear about a soldier killed in a terrorist attack (Yasmin Karisi). A bus driver run over her and dozen more when she was standing in a bus stop. “How he could have done it?” he asked, slowly understanding where we are living.
Mindal was suddenly started crying, asking for her Ima and running home. Later we came back she said “I was crying because you are going in a month, and I was thinking about you will not be here.”
What you want to do in this moment is hug her tight and and offer the big, comforting lie: “Don’t worry, nothing will happen.” But we live in a country where kids are too smart for that. She know that when Dad goes back in a month, he isn’t going on a camping trip.
In this moments you need accept the Fear, not to dismiss it.Saying “don’t be scared” is like telling the sea not to be salty. Instead acknowledge it: “It is scary, and it’s okay to feel that way. It shows how much we love.”
You need to focus on the “Now”: We talk about the thirty days we have before I go back on reserve duty (for the 6th time in this war): Riding the bikes, doing somersault, reading Harry Potter before bedtime.
They are learning early, maybe too early, that our lives here is a precious, fragile thing, defended by the people they love most. There’s a loss of innocence there that hurts to watch, but there’s also something profoundly Israeli about it.
Take Care
Gad
Getting ready for Independence day, when the flag is till half mast down and the memorial day ceremony bouquets are still on the wall