Hi,
I think I finally found a name for my feelings in the past weeks – existential anxiety. 
This existential anxiety isn’t just fear —It’s not about an upcoming test, the fear of losing my job, and not having enough money or deadlines you will not be able to stand.
And I am not talking about existential in the meaning of why am I here? What’s the point of it all? Will anything I do actually matter as I will probably be forgotten sometime along the generations.
I am talking about an existential in the meaning of fear of my life. Fear of getting killed by a terrorist in Gaza, or killed by a terrorist walking in the street of Ramat-Gan, or even getting hit by a car in the streets of Ramat-Gan or while walking in Gaza.
I have a page in this blog about how mad it is to live in Israel, (as the name of this blog) but I was never feared of living in Israel.
And it is not about living in Israel. As a Jew I am not sure it will be safe outside of Israel with the antisemitism raising up. As an Israeli, it only makes things more dangerous.
I was never feared of the death, but somehow, but now I fear of dying – and I can not really say when and why.
So what do you do – not really much, I You can start looking up for some meaning in your life to avoid those thoughts. Or you can do what I always do – bury myself at activity at home and at work and just not to think about any of this.
Wake up in the morning and just start doing what tou each morning not to fall into those deep thoughts.
Take Care
Gad 